Torn
by RockOut9
Summary: Torn is a story in pogress. Be honest about what you think. 13


_What a quiet night,_ I thought to myself. It was rare to find a peaceful, quiet time like this. Out here in Portland, quiet was rarely ever the case. Not that it was completely quiet—I could still hear the traffic in front of the school behind my house—but it was a pretty good deal.

Tam-tam yipped, pressing her warm body against my leg.

"Are you done?" I asked, opening my eyes. A lab with blue eyes and a shiny black coat stared up at me, wagging her tail excitedly. Tam-tam was about five months old and the runt of the litter. I suppose her being the runt had a lot to do with me wanting her, but it wasn't something I was going to delve into; I'm glad we have her.

Taking one of her little paws in my hand, I squeezed it gently and let it go with a sigh. The tranquil moment had ended with a horn blast in the distance.

If I didn't get back to the house soon, someone would notice. Then I'd be grounded for being out after dark, Lord knows I don't want _that_.

I stood up, cleaning off the back of my jeans. Tam-tam scampered away, sniffing the ground. Suddenly, she moved her head side to side and sneezed. She fell on her rump and turned her head toward me with those big eyes: I couldn't help but laugh.

"C'mon you," I said tapping my leg and led her back to the house, a block away from where we had been. When we got there I stopped and stared at the house. It was a common one story place painted in white with Christmas lights still up even though it was October.

My parents had moved to Portland, Oregon, in this house, shortly before I was born on a whim that they could somehow be able to pay for it. They were right.

Tam-tam nipped at my pants leg and growled. "I know, girl, I know. "We snuck into the backyard and quietly crept into the house. Padding across the kitchen and living room and into the hallway, I could hear the T.V. on in my parents' room. Pushing open the already ajar door, we slipped in. Tam-tam ran to the bed and tried to jump up on it. Smiling, I picked her up and put her on my bed where she nestled on my pillow and laid her head on her paws.

"You're so cute," I whispered, scratching her behind her ears. Crawling into bed beside her, I kissed her head and thought about school. I didn't feel up to arguments with anybody, just wanted a day to be happy. If only Cal Anderson would let me, I thought bitterly. That boy just ticks me off.

_Lora, calm down, think about the good parts of tomorrow_.

You mean kicking his butt?

_No, bad Lora_, I scolded myself.

Calming down I thought of my boyfriend, Lee. He is so sweet. And Bree and Steph are my best friends. See? That's three good things tomorrow.

Getting comfortable, I closed my eyes. Tam-tam's wet nose nudged my chin and I smiled. Tomorrow would be good.

**The Next Day**

"I'm squished!" he said, his voice muffled between me and the back wall of the closet. "Shh!" I tried hard not to elbow him. I was so panicked of being found with him in my room, that I hadn't thought twice about ducking into the closet with him.

This is one of those times where if you opened the door, we'd be so tangled you couldn't tell which part belonged to whom even though there was plenty of space to the side of us. I'll make it simple: it was a ridiculously tight fit for just jumping in and shutting the door.

"Where'd she go?" my dad asked. He had a relaxing voice that soothed my wrung out nerves.

"She was just in here." my mother said, frustration ringing on the edge that crumpled them.

"Maybe she went out with her friends." he suggested.

"Without telling us?" my mother said scornfully.

"Well, maybe she's in the bathroom." he said.

"We've already looked there."

"The backyard?"

My mother's breath caught, "She might be there." I could just see her pointing her finger at my dad as the thought appealed to her, her mouth open before she said those words.

I listened as their footsteps receded from the room and the door closed, and heard her laugh mixed with dad's. It was safe to get out. They probably wouldn't be back unless something drew them to my room, like Tam-tam barking.

Scuffling around, I found the knob and opened the door, light spilled in and I instantly covered my eyes as I fell out of the closet.

"Ruff!" the dog was standing above me, alert, on my bed, glaring at the boy next to me. I had half the mind to join her.

"Are they gone?" Cal asked.

"No, I just opened the door so they'd find you. What do you think, you bonehead." I shook my head, irritated.

"You know, you don't have to help me out." he said, studying his shoes. His shyness caught me off guard. Why should he be shy and so, I don't know...humble? That was just too unlike the Cal I knew. Usually he was a callous ignorant prick who loved to point out my weaknesses.

"Oh yeah, who else would do it if I didn't? Face it, you wouldn't have asked me if you had another option." I said, my voice more sharp than I meant it to be. In return, he shrugged and mumbled, "I didn't know what else to do. I'm just so tired of it all, I couldn't take it anymore."

"So you admit I was a last resort?" I accused. I knew I was being hard on the guy, but what could I say? All he had to do was enter the room and I'd be mad. Talking to him just made it worse.

He nodded, ashamed.

I snapped my fingers and pointed at the covers; Tam-tam got off the pillow but continued to stare at Cal. I tossed the pillow to him and turned to the bed. On it was a quilt my grandmother made for me with its elegant flowers twisting around each other, forming a heart. 'The Silent Heart' she called it. 'See, Lora? All the individual squares of flowers make a heart in the middle. But look, there are roses at the bottom with thorns. A loving heart protected.' My eyes burned with the memories of her, I missed her very much.

Using care, I removed the quilt, and took the thick, grey cover from beneath it and gave it to him.

"Thank you." he said as I spread my quilt on my bed again, smoothing out the wrinkles. I ignored him and took everything from the bottom of my closet out, shoving it beneath my bed, silently vowing to stash it somewhere else. I folded the grey blanket in half and put it on the floor of the closet with the pillow tucked between the halves. "That'll keep you warm." He walked into the closet and sat down on the pallet.

In a softer, kinder voice, I asked, "Not what you expected was it?"

"To sleep in somebody's closet rather than under a slide? No. This is much better than what I had in mind."

Confused I said, "Wait. You didn't want to stay with me? Then why the heck did you come to me?"

"I figured you knew some place that was covered well to sleep under. I've seen you walk at night, even when it's raining."

Shocked, I stared. Not only did he know I took midnight walks, but he had the gall to think I'd let him stay out there by himself. Flummoxed, I bid him goodnight and shut the closet door.

Who did he think I was? That I was just going to let him go out alone? How would he take baths? Or get to school? No. He'd have to get over it. Besides, wasn't this much more comfortable? Isn't that what he'd just conceded to?

Laying down, Tam-tam crawled up and snuggled to my chest.

How was I going to keep this a secret? Last night I'd wanted to strangle the guy. Now he was the guy sleeping in my closet because he'd ran away from home. God, what was I going to do? If my parents knew, they'd kill me, or worse, send him back. No, I couldn't tell them. How would I even start? "Oh, hey, there's a guy who's sleeping in my closet and he wants to know if he can stay here because he's run away from home." Oh yeah, they'd welcome that.

Well...maybe they would accept him. They might, you never knew. Perhaps hiding him in my closet wasn't the best thing to do, but it was all I could think of. I didn't know his situation at home, just that he ran away. Besides, didn't things always seem simpler to adults?

What would they do if I ran away?

While I considered the infinite possibilities, I didn't notice Tam-tam who had jumped up, tottered over to the closet, and began scratching at the door.

"Tam-tam! What are you doing? Come here!" but Tam-tam didn't listen. She just continued to rake at the door. Irritated, I got out of bed and picked her up roughly and turned her head towards me, "What do you think you're doing girl? You know better than that!" From behind the door there was snickering. Apparently my scolding of Tam-tam was amusing to him.

"Do you find this funny?" I asked still on the other side of the door. There was some shuffling but no answer.

Opening the closet door, I discovered a heap of a cover and a pillow on top but no Cal.

"Cal?" I stepped into the closet and moved the cover around, feeling for his body.

"BOO!" he jumped out from the side of the closet.

Startled, I screamed, jumping backward I landed on my bed. When I looked up, he was covering his mouth, laughing. He plopped down on the floor, his other hand clutching his stomach.

There was an opening of a door and a running of feet. "Lora! Are you okay?"

Dad.

Cal disappeared into the closet and the door quickly shut behind him. I steeled myself for the second I could.

"What's wrong, baby?" dad panted running into my room with a baseball bat. "Nothing, Tam-tam scared me." I said before realizing Tam-tam wasn't in the room. Oh boy.

"Well, where is the little fur ball?" dad asked, lowering the bat.

"That's a good question." I said trying to act curious though I knew exactly where Tam-tam was. "I think I shut her in the closet."

"You shut Tam-tam in the closet?" he repeated, his tone incredulous.

Nodding, I tried to act like it was nothing out of the ordinary and padded over to the closet, barely opening it. Through the crack, I could just barely make out Cal's figure tucked away in the corner and Tam-tam in his lap, petting her, and—she was wagging her little tail!

_Traitor._

"Out," I ordered and she reluctantly withdrew from his lap, her head turned toward Cal twice before finally exiting the closet. I shut the door without so much as a look at Cal. "You ratty little dog, you." I chided and put her onto the bed.

Dad stared and scratched his head, "I got a feeling I'm missing something."

I smiled and hugged him. "Love you."

"Love you too, Baby Cakes." He replied. "Now go to bed." He waited for me to get on the bed then he turned out the light and left the room.

I sighed. What could I do? It took a moment for it to dawn on me that Cal could hear everything, including my dad's nickname for me. Blushing furiously, I climbed into bed and shoved my head into the pillow.

Why am I so embarrassed? Why should it matter what he heard? He was the one intruding on my life, not the other way around. Besides, I bet his parents had some pretty embarrassing names for him too.

Curling up with Tam-tam, I closed my eyes. I wondered what it was like to be a runaway and having to rely on someone who could turn you out at any second they chose.

To sleep in a closet because their parents didn't know you were there.

To be in someone's house that you didn't get along with because they were your last resort.

I cringed, shutting my eyes even tighter. A hot tear slid down my cheek and onto the pillow.

Cal was brave, very brave. I would have never thought of such a thing, let alone try it.

But...what had I always thought of runaways? What about all the times I thought they were morons running away from home like they did? That runaways didn't need to do such an outrageous thing to get away from it all.

But wasn't suicide worse?

The thought came from nowhere but it pierced my heart none the less.

I wasn't sure which was worse, suicide or runaway.

I would think it would be suicide. But what if their lives turned out even more so terrible after running away? Wouldn't that be horrid?

At least a runaway can come back-a suicide can't.

Cal wouldn't do that, would he? Oh God, what if I still harbored bad feelings for him and he did kill himself? Worse, what if he did it in my closet?

Scared and crying silently, I hugged Tam-tam tightly to my chest. He wouldn't, would he? It's not like I gave him a reason to.

That night, my dreams were filled with roads and streets and different people, walking by. I was a ghost, screaming for help, and no one could hear me. I was blood soaked and alone. Very alone.

I awoke to pressure on my shoulders, "Get up!"

"Ughhhh," I mumbled and turned over.

"Lora!"

"Go away!" I said groggily, dragging out the 'ay'.

"Your phone is ringing!"

"Well answer it!" I whined, now hearing it loud and clear.

"LORA!"

I jumped up, realizing it wasn't a dream, and butted heads with him.

Him? "Dad?"

"I don't think your dad would sleep in your closet." the guy said, rubbing his forehead.

Sleep in my closet? What?

I rubbed my eyes and forced myself to look at him. He had broad shoulders and sandy brown hair. "Cal?" I said confused. His metallic blue eyes were flashing with annoyance, a look I was used to, "Will you go get your phone!"

"Okay, okay." I grumbled. I crawled out of bed and picked up the phone on my dresser.

"Hello?"

"Lora, check and see if the clothes are done and put them in the dryer before you go, will you?" mom's voice filtered through.

"Yes ma'am."

"Please tell me you're not just now getting up."

"Maybe."

"Didn't your alarm clock go off?"

"No..."

"And why not? I told you to set it yesterday."

"I forgot."

"Of course you did. Set it now." she ordered. The alarm clock was right beside the phone so all I had to do was turn the alarm on. "Don't forget to check the volume. I know that's why you don't get up on the weekends, missy." On the right side of the clock, I turned up the volume dial.

"Have a good day at school and don't go back to bed. I'm not writing you another excuse for being lazy, and I'm telling your dad that when he gets home. Love you."

"Love you too, mom."

"Bye."

"Bye."

I hung up and put the phone back on the receiver. "Ugh." Trudging down the hall I turned to the second door on the left before my parents' door, which was at the end of the hall. Inside was just the washer and the dryer, a basket and a miniature garbage can. Opening the washer, I saw the clothes clinging to the sides of the machine. I took them out and put them into the dryer.

"Empty the lint." I jumped, startled that he had followed me. "What?"

"Empty the lint," he repeated, and pointed to the top of the dryer. At my confused expression he came over and pulled at a small rectangle shape and out came a long rectangle net type deal covered in gray fuzz. "You always empty the lint," he said as he scraped the gray stuff into the garbage. "Otherwise your dryer might eventually catch on fire."

"Oh." I watched his hands. They were slender and calloused, making swift movements as he cleaned the filter. "I knew that."

"Of course you did." he said. I rolled my eyes; it was too early in the morning for me to be thinking much less arguing.

"Where are you going?" he asked, inserting the filter back into the dryer. "To get dressed." I snapped. "Geez, your worse than my mom." and went into my room where I did not get dressed but lay cozily down on the bed and shut my eyes.

All too soon I was being shaken again, "Lora! We're going to miss the bus! Get up!"

"The bus doesn't come out here. I walk." He stared at me. "For real? The bus doesn't come out here?"

"No, it doesn't."

"So I can just leave you and go to school."

"Sure, yeah, you do that."

As I started to close my eyes again he shook me, growling, "Get UP!" This time he rolled me off the bed. "HEY! I was getting there!"

"Well, you were taking your sweet time to do it so I figured I'd help you."

Seething, I stood up and shoved him against the wall, "Do NOT knock me off my own bed!"

_Where did that come from? I've never shoved anyone before…_

His eyes flashed, his nostrils flared, and a vein stuck out in his throat, "Then get UP! I'm grateful that you let me stay here but I am not going to reward you by letting you be late to school! Now get your clothes on."

"Then get OUT!" I pointed to the door and stepped back so he would have room to leave.

He didn't move. "Promise you won't get back on your bed."

My jaw dropped and I all but dragged him out by his hair. Opening the closet, I angrily chose a shirt and a pair of pants and put them on.

Who did he think he was? Getting off on knocking me out of bed and then yelling at me?

I slammed both doors and realized I'd forgotten my backpack.

"Don't, I've got it." Cal said from below. He was sitting down leaning his back against the wall casually, as if he had nothing better to do.

"You know," I said, taking it from him. "You might actually be sweet if you weren't so pigheaded." And I stepped around him. I heard him get up, "If that's a compliment I'd hate to see what you tell your lap dog."

"What I tell my _boyfriend_ is none of your business."

He smirked now beside me, "Isn't it funny you knew _exactly_ who I meant?"


End file.
